Pensieve
by Lady Amarie
Summary: What if Snape never had a Pensieve?
1. Chapter 1

Harry trudged along the candlelit corridor casting dark shadows behind him that reflected his mood perfectly. With one strap of his bag slung over his shoulder he was on his way to another ego-diminishing lesson with one of his more unwelcoming professors.

Harry stopped outside a door in the dungeons and knocked. A voice came from within 'Enter'. The door opened and Harry stepped inside quickly unless someone should see him going for remedial potions.

Snape was sat at his desk, elbows gently leaning on the arms of the chair, hands gently clasped.

'Mr Potter' Only one word, well two words but said with such loathing that had been festering for five years was clear to hear. And then Harry knew he was in trouble. Not for something he had done, not at all, but for what Snape was going to do with him.

Snape stood up and walked around the desk. Anger and loathing clear in his eyes but what scared Harry the most was the hint of fear around the edges; and then it was gone. Harry then noticed for the first time since he had been taking lessons with Snape, there was no Pensieve.

'Potter…' Harry turned towards Snape '…_legilimens_'

All at once memories came flooding through his mind, he hated this, he really did but as long as Snape attacked him without telling how to guard his mind then he would be helpless to stop it. Memories flashed past; Dudley shoving him up against a wall bearing down upon him making him shrink down onto the floor – Snape sweeping into the Potions classroom instantly bearing down on him firing off questions that only Hermione knew the answer to – Uncle Vernon grasping his collar and throwing him into the cupboard –

The searching for memories slowed as Harry felt Snape searching for more memories about the cupboard but Harry had had enough. He concentrated with all his might on forcing the foreign presence from his mind. Nobody was going to know about the cupboard especially his slimy, disgusting son of a …. And as soon as it had come the legilimency stopped.

He opened his eyes...


	2. Chapter 2

He was still standing which was a miracle in itself but Snape had been interested in the cupboard, Snape wasn't going to find out about that if Harry could help it.

Snape sneered, Potter hadn't got into his memories, what kind of Gryffindor idiot was he, 'Well, that was interesting, a cupboard Potter? True it was more impressive than your last tries but I doubt you'll be able to do that again without a miracle, _legilimens_'

Harry felt Snape in his mind again but this time it wasn't random searching for embarrassing situations that Harry had found himself in over the years, it was meticulous searching for particular memories about the cupboard. Harry was adamant that no-one, especially this professor, was going to know about his cupboard. He pushed Snape out with all his might and pushed into his. Suddenly he was in Snape's mind he had memories flying past wich he only got glimpses of. It was like watching a fast-track movie of someone else's life.

Snape was surprised to say the least when Potter had forced his way into his mind, he didn't like the feeling that a student could see all his worst memories (and all his good ones but there weren't many of those). He suddenly panicked remembering that Dumbledore hadn't allowed him to borrow his pensieve to put his most hated memories in, which meant he still had that memory…

As soon as Snape had thought about it the memory came to the surface of his thoughts and Harry was able to see it

While the memory played out in its entirety, Snape was frozen in place, right down to the embarrassing spectacle of being hung upside down and showing your boxers for the world to see. Snape threw Harry out of his mind as soon as he could collect himself but he knew the damage had been done, there was no need to shout and scream it wouldn't make Potter forget, there was nothing he could do about it and he felt strangely empty at the thought. He struggled to pry his eyes open, he really didn't want to see the eyes of the son of his nemesis laughing at him. He steeled himself and opened his eyes.

Snape saw the devastation of his office; although he kept the majority of potions in his lab he did keep a few for emergencies in his office. All these potions were smashed and the books which had been piled on his desk and on the shelves were scattered all over the floor.

_Idiot boy, why did he have to push back so hard?_

He was sitting on the floor his back leaning against the wall staring off into the distance, in a catatonic-like state, seemingly looking at nothing. Snape couldn't see his eyes but they were wide open, not blinking and he wasn't sure he wanted to know what they looked like.

'Potter' he said harshly, what was the stupid boy doing now, 'Potter!'

There was no reaction from the stone still boy. Snape made his way over to Harry and knelt beside him, still too weak from the shock of having his worst memory open to his most hated student to get up and walk, or maybe he just wasn't thinking straight. Snape saw that Harry's face was as white as chalk and his eyes were panicked and wild. Something like panic went through Snape as Harry didn't respond to his promptings,

'Potter' he whispered, urgently trying to get through to the boys thick skull, he sighed, steeling himself to say it,

'Harry,'


	3. Chapter 3

'Harry,'

Harry turned his head slowly around until he was eye to eye with his Professor. Snape could see the fear in his eyes and was pleased that he could now evoke a feeling of such fear in Potter. Maybe now he could get some sense into potter's thick skull.

'Was my father really like that? Was that how he acted normally?'

Snape felt like a blaze of anger grow within him. Could he never be rid of the insufferable James Potter?

'Yes' he hissed as though in pain but still sneering down at Harry, 'It always has to be about your father, doesn't it? You can't get enough of your _beloved dad'_ his voice dripped with sarcasm hiding a very thinly veiled anger, 'Well I'll tell you what he was like. He picked on people, he bullied them with no apparent reason other than that they didn't conform to his ideals.'

Snape had been stalking up and down his office but he had stopped at his desk and was leaning on it breathing hard.

He'd lost control; he had never lost control and this boy had made him lose. He started to speak very quietly

'And then he got all saintly on us when he and l-l-lily got married, tried to make it all up to me but he wouldn't fool me, no sir.' He had to turn his back towards Harry as he got his feelings under control.

All through Snape's outburst Harry had sat quietly watching and listening to him, his eyes growing dangerously watery. He suddenly got to his feet his fists clenched and his eyes turned bright and hard.

'You think you're the only victim in the world? We're more alike than you know. We've both had rubbish childhoods, you were beaten-' Snape stiffened perceptibly and tried to interrupt but Harry ploughed on before Snape could say anything, 'Yes, you were beaten don't try to deny it and I was forced to live in a cupboard for 10 years of my life. We were both victims!'

This admission cost Harry more than he would have liked but it had to be said. There was still no response form Snape and Harry was visibly angered.

'I. Cannot. Believe. You.'

Harry punctuated every word trying to make Snape understand. 'How can you get all righteous about my father saying he was a bully and still act the way you do to me. Yes, my father didn't act like he should and I'm sorry for what he did.'

Harry took a deep breath. 'But he's dead Snape, he's dead, and you're alive. You don't realize what you've become, you've become like him!'

His voice had become stronger as he went on and Snape had become stock still obviously listening but never turning around.

'I hope I never become like you or my father.'

Snape swirled around, cloak billowing, face as white as chalk,

'Get out.'

Only the two words were said but Harry fled.


	4. Chapter 4

As Snape walked back to his rooms that night he found himself dwelling on past mistakes, some infantile some not so but this wasn't any old mistake. He had wilfully ignored what he had seen of Harry's home life and stuck with his preferred version of pampering relations. This could not continue. Snape had been brought up short by Harry's outburst and he hadn't even taken any points away, even if what had been said was the absolute truth.

Oh yes, Severus Snape was not so much of a coward that he couldn't accept the truth when he saw it but the question now was what was he supposed to do? The act that Harry had been right and had seen right through him was a blow to his self-esteem he had not expected.

But all these questions could be dealt with in the morning; right now his brain could hardly function. As he made his way into his bedroom he pulled out a dose of Dreamless Sleep potion and fell onto his bed deep asleep.

Harry ran as fast as he could through the dungeons to escape Snape's fury. He wondered where he had gotten the nerve to speak to Snape like that. He skidded to a fast walk as he came up into the Entrance Hall so he wouldn't get told off for running in the corridors while he thought of what he was going to do. He didn't think for a moment that Snape was going to let him off that easily and he wondered what he would have to do. He didn't think that he would get expelled, although knowing Snape anything was possible but he did have a defence; Snape had tormented him in the occlumency lessons and he had a right, Harry thought, to shout at his Professor.

Harry made his way to the common room and Hermione and Ron bombarded him with questions as soon as he got in. He must have looked worse than he thought. He fielded their questions as best he could and escaped to the dormitory where he found a vial of Dreamless Sleep potion that he had got off of Madam Pomfrey earlier on in the week after he had had a worse dream than usual. He downed the potion and fell onto the bed asleep.

The next day, being a Saturday, started out as usual for Hogwarts except for to people. Snape and Harry were steadfastly ignoring what had happened the previous evening and were preparing to act like nothing had happened.

This worked fine until Albus Dumbledore summoned Snape for a mid-morning snack and chat.

Snape wearily made his way slowly up to the headmasters' office giving the password to the gargoyle before stepping onto the stairs. As soon as he got outside the door it swung open to reveal Albus Dumbledore sitting at his desk perusing some letters. As soon as he saw Severus his eyes lit up and he got up and ushered Snape into one of the chairs facing his desk

'Sherbet Lemon, Severus?' he offered him a bowl of the infamous sweets, 'or some of these?' he then offered Snape some liquorice knowing Snape's penchant for them. Snape scowled but took one anyway and pocketed it.

'You know why I've brought you here, Severus?' he looked knowingly at Snape, 'Yes Sir'

'This cannot go on Severus. This infamous rivalry with James Potter and yourself has got to stop. He's dead for heavens sake and Harry Potter is alive and your making life very difficult for him, he is not his father' Snape sighed and looked at his hands.

'I know Albus, I know now!'

Albus coughed and Snape brought his gaze up too the headmaster's. He saw surprise, amazement and a hint of pride. 'How did you find out?'

'I was shocked into it, I guess, by Harry himself.' He shook his head disgusted at himself, 'I who prided myself on seeing through Potter for what I thought he was' The admission cost more than he expected but he carried on determined too get this out of the way and hopefully everything would return to the way it had been. But he knew it could never go back to the way it was, 'I was wrong Albus' he sighed dramatically,

'Harry Potter is just a boy.'


End file.
